Ahh, the French

A country of fine taste, France. The finest. I recall fondly my several months there on Montmartre, traipsing up and down that formidable hill, an explorer in the erotic wilderness. A young man named Jean-Luc, immersed in his studies -- Medeivel politics -- and I, as I always am, charming to the last. What a summer. Whilst my eventual knighting of Jean-Luc, oh, bookworm, involved a sharper steel, the lovely Penelope Cruz has received a more ceremonial nick of her own.

Spanish actress Penelope Cruz was made a Knight in the Order of Arts and Letters (Chevalier Dans L'Ordre Des Arts Et Des Lettres) in a ceremony in Paris, France. Yesterday.



The sultry Blow actress, who appeared in the French film Fanfan La Tulipe three years ago, was honoured for her international film career...

Penelope. When I look at your mouth, as it happens, I am reminded of that self-same scholar whose thigh bones still poke the ashes of my sleepy fireplace. Penelope, have some paella with me and breathe deep into my silk handkerchief, lest that Catalan lilt dissuade my mortal advance. Onward!