Mentor

Remember when he had one glove? That was my idea. The ghouls rising from the grave to show off their rhythm? Me. Molesting all those children at his amusement park home? C'est moi. For years, I've acted as a consultant to the King of Pop during his most debauched and most inspired chapters. But this, ladies and gents, is a masterpiece all his own.

[A] recent lawsuit [against Michael Jackson] hits the trifecta, alleging the pop star sexually abused a boy in the 1980s and 1990s, lifted lyrics and melodies from the child, who was as young as 2 at the time of the reputed plagiarism, and reneged on a deal to pay for the songs.



Perhaps making the lawsuit at least a quadfecta, Jackson, 47, is also accused of burning, beating, and torturing the then-child, and forcing him to undergo "unnecessary cosmetic surgery procedures."

Though the bloods of temptation have run thick through me, a teacher could never destroy one of his most prized pupils. Not without provocation, anywhow. No, this one I want to watch.